One Year.

It’s been one year since my best friend broke up with me.

I’ve never been through anything that genuinely tested me as a person. And because of that I am grateful for the break up. I look back at where I began on this journey…. I had so many questions:

Who am I?

What do I want to do with my life?

What do I enjoy about life?

What makes me happy?

What am I passionate about?

I still don’t know the answer to half of these questions, but I’ve been figuring out who I am. I’m taking life for a test drive and trying to find out what I want to end up doing with my life. I have so many things to be grateful for in my life that make me happy and I’ve developed some passions that have helped me cope and handle my emotions and obstacles.

When I look at pictures of myself pre break up, I get SO sad for that girl. I hate that she had to get her heart broken by someone she never thought could hurt her. But I also get SO sad that it took a broken heart to become who I was meant to be. There are times I look back and wish I had learned this lesson at other pivotal moments in the relationship. But wishing that only leads me down a dark road of what ifs.

Its been one year since my best friend broke up with me. I’ve learned to churn my anger and bitterness into gratefulness and kindness. Something I thought would be impossible. I’ve learned to forgive and appreciate the relationship and the lessons that came along with it. Something I thought would be impossible.

I still hurt and I think there will always be a part of me that will feel that way. You were my first love, and it’s a tough act to follow. You will always be engraved in the history of my life. And I will always hope that one day we can rekindle our friendship. Something I think is impossible.

Happy anniversary.