Healthy Minds Think Alike.

You ever think about if you were to rebuild a friendship or relationship with someone? Maybe with someone that has hurt you, and maybe you’ve hurt them. You might have spent days, weeks, months, years reeling from the hurt that they may have caused.

But regardless of all that, you’ve worked on yourself. You’ve taught yourself self love. You’ve made time for you, and treated yourself better than anyone, because you deserve someone who loves you like you love yourself.

After all this self realization and self love, is it possible to let that person who damaged you in the first place, back in? With no grudges or pent up anger, sadness, bitterness… etc? Can a person truly learn to let go? Forgive AND forget? People always say that they forgive but they don’t forget. Is that even really forgiveness? How do you forgive someone, but continue to hold a dark cloud over their head?

I think in the midst of my journey, I’ve been yearning to rebuild a friendship with someone that’s hurt me so deep because I want to know, can you start on a clean slate? Am I capable of truly dispelling all the negative feelings and thoughts that used to control me and my actions towards this person? I know it takes a strong mind and a strong sense of self to completely free someone of the emotional turmoil they may have caused at some point. And I want to be that person that completely, 100% forgives AND forgets. Things don’t get better, situations don’t change if in the back of your mind you’re still holding onto the negative feelings and thoughts that still linger. If you’ve been hurt by someone and you forgive them, but you’re always weary of them hurting you again, is that setting yourself up for failure? Of course, some people take advantage of second chances, so it’s hard to not suspect that you’ll be hurt again.

The hardest part of this task, is that the other person also has to be willing to clean their slate with you. That’s where repeat offenders strike. They aren’t willing to actually change their hurtful ways. Maybe they aren’t fully ready to forgive us for our mistakes and our hurtful actions, but you can’t have a half clean dish in the cupboard. You need both sides to be wiped free of any left over stains, otherwise that dish is no good and tainted with germs and other things that we don’t want to mix in with our good, healthy meals. Germs spread onto everything it comes into contact with until they are rid of. Negative feelings and thoughts continue to stretch and engulf everything around us until we get rid of them.

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