These Memories Do Not Exist.

I’m constantly thinking of all the new options and friends that I’ve made over the last few months and always think about how this or that wouldn’t have happened if me and my ex hadn’t ever broken up. I almost feel like I’m able to see an alternate universe that never existed… until it became my reality.

This may be kind of hard to explain, but I feel like I can see both universes, except one isn’t my universe anymore (this is all hypothetical of course, and if you believe in the parallel universe theory).

Something as simple as driving to a job interview, I thought to myself “I wouldn’t be making this drive right now if I were still dating my ex”. And it made me wonder and imagine, what would the other Maile be doing right now instead?

I probably would have been at work granted it was during normal work time hours, but it would have been a different job than the one I’m working at right now because I don’t think I would have left my last job if it hadn’t been for my break up.

And this is the craziest part, but I really feel like somewhere there is the other me that is still working at my old job, still dating my ex, on the track to still fulfill all the other hopes and dreams I once had with my ex. I guess you could say I’m one of those that kind of believe in parallel universes. If they do exist, I’m not sure if I’m jealous of the other version of me that gets to live out that life. I’m definitely glad she didn’t have to endure all the pain and confusion that I’ve had to, but I also think that she probably isn’t as…. good as me. Sorry other Maile, but I’m glad you get to live out our old dreams and hopes. It’s weird to think all these memories wouldn’t exist…..

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