Why is it that a lot of times one person feels like they put more effort in? If you’re like me, you might feel like you’re the one to constantly put 100% effort into keeping the people you love in your life. This doesn’t seem like a bad thing, but when we are on the shitty end, it doesn’t seem like a good thing.
Is it because we attract crappy people? Do we have attachment issues that makes us cling tighter than we should or need to? Are we bigger hearted than everyone else?
Honestly I don’t know and I’m sure the answer is a little bit of all of the above. Maybe we haven’t found the one willing to put in the same effort we are. Maybe past hurts have caused us to be scared of the past repeating itself. And maybe we just care a little more than others. Everyone ultimately wants love and to be loved, but some are motivated more so.
While it’s okay to be motivated by love (like myself), it’s important not to lose yourself while searching for that “perfect” love. And I think that’s where we go wrong. In our efforts to continuously please someone else, we sacrifice our wants, needs, and happiness. We lose those certain parts of ourselves and look for the other person to fill in those gaps. We get so lost in looking for someone who completes us, meaning we are not whole on our own. The real goal should be to find someone who compliments us.
As a firm believer in love, I always thought of it as finding your “other half”. Another term to suggest we are not whole when not in a relationship. And that’s the missing key!! We must be happy and complete with ourselves first. Becoming whole with yourself will not only benefit relationships, but even careers! When you start putting your wants, needs, and happiness first, the rest follows. You find your place in the world. This is what my entire journey is revolved around. I’m just trying to find myself. Because ultimately everything else will fall into place much easier when you do. You’ll no longer need things to complete you to feel whole. Instead we will start to find things – in relationships and careers – that add to our lives in a positive way rather than make us feel incomplete if we don’t have these things in our lives. That is the ultimate happiness goal.