Step 2 was inspired by the song “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett (set on repeat while typing).
Alright, have we been practicing Step 1? Have you been meditating and finding a peace of mind in all the chaos? Are you finding your hidden hobbies and passions? Yes? Not Really? Kind of? Are we getting bored now? Step 1 is an ongoing step that is meant to become a part of your lifestyle. So lets take a break and welcome to the fun stage, Step 2.
Now that you’ve been focusing on yourself and learning how to become you again, it’s time to reward yourself!! Take the second step I took in my journey. You don’t have to go too wild at this stage, but this stage is important because it’s where you get a little bit of yourself back. The fun, wild, carefree part that might have gotten neglected.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t be fun, wild, and carefree, but let’s be real, you can’t be the single kind of fun, wild, and carefree. I didn’t miss this phase while I was in the relationship, because I liked being in a relationship and being a new kind of fun and wild. I could show up to the party with no makeup on, Ugg boots and a baggy Tee and know that I would still end up with the cutest guy in the room at the end of the night. And while I very much enjoyed that aspect of dating, there’s a kind of excitement in the air while getting ready before a night out when you’re single. The mystery of who you might meet, the unpredictability of where the night will lead or what stories you and your girlfriends will recount hungover in the morning. And I’m not saying these things just can’t happen if you’re dating, but it’s different, okay?!
So gather up your girl friends, it’s time for a G.N.O. (Girls Night Out). Do all the things that make you feel and look your sexiest and your most confident. You can do it for you, you can do it in hopes of catching a new guy’s eye, or you can do it just for the pictures you know you and your girls will be taking. Do it for whoever/whatever the hell you want to do it for!! But it is important to feel your sexiest and most confident because you’re still in a fragile state, and starting the night off feeling insecure and self-conscious won’t be a recipe for a good night.
Like I said, you don’t have to go too buck wild, but have fun!! Remember that you are sexy and lovable and head turning, without having a man (or anyone else) to confirm it for you. You might feel like you’re not beautiful enough or funny enough or smart enough after going through a breakup, but one of the most important lessons I’ve learned thus far is that you don’t need someone to validate all the things you already know about yourself. Just because someone isn’t there to tell you you’re beautiful or that you look banging in that new outfit, doesn’t mean you’re NOT beautiful or that you AREN’T a 10/10 in that dress.
It’s true when people say you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. Relying on someone else to constantly validate you puts a strain on your relationship or friendship, because when you expect it from them constantly and they fail to give it to you, you take it personally. But it’s not anyone else’s job to make you feel good enough but you! And trust me, I learned all this the hard way.
So even though this just seems like the fun, irresponsible stage, it’s a crucial one to remind you to love yourself first. And it’s important to not abuse this stage. Don’t go out and drink to “forget about your problems” because no night ever ends well with that motive (and I’m guilty of having that motive for a night or two, and they reallyyyyy did not end well). So go out to reconnect with old friends, to make new friends, to try new things, and to make new memories that don’t involve a certain someone 🙂
Let 2018 be the year of self love. Happy New Years!
*Okay I got tired of listening to Bad Reputation, so the second song inspiration for this post was “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” by Shania Twain.